Hi Meg - thanks for posting.... so my advice on this is right now, your script is falling between two stools and I think your client is going to want more educative content. I think this is an easy fix. At the moment, you're actually creating some confusion in terms of labelling the different stages - so when you say 'OXY Ball' - you're blending the facts with your metaphor - it's like we're watching an animation about the workings of the pinball machine, not the heart - so, when you do your freeze-frames - use these to put the actual educative content on screen so - the Ball freezes - and we get some nice animated bullet points that say stuff like 'Blood cell is oxygenated' etc. Try and imagine you were seeking to revise from these freeze-frame moments - the facts must be on screen too - does that make sense? The pinball machine is really working - but it's 'a memory palace' for the learner - a way to make the facts stick to their brains - make sure your metaphor doesn't overshadow/overpower your information.
Hi Meg - thanks for posting.... so my advice on this is right now, your script is falling between two stools and I think your client is going to want more educative content. I think this is an easy fix. At the moment, you're actually creating some confusion in terms of labelling the different stages - so when you say 'OXY Ball' - you're blending the facts with your metaphor - it's like we're watching an animation about the workings of the pinball machine, not the heart - so, when you do your freeze-frames - use these to put the actual educative content on screen so - the Ball freezes - and we get some nice animated bullet points that say stuff like 'Blood cell is oxygenated' etc. Try and imagine you were seeking to revise from these freeze-frame moments - the facts must be on screen too - does that make sense? The pinball machine is really working - but it's 'a memory palace' for the learner - a way to make the facts stick to their brains - make sure your metaphor doesn't overshadow/overpower your information.
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